When Thunder Strikes

Sometimes I find myself thinking of our fate and unexpected losses of our loved ones and how scary this prospect might be. Some people's fate is heartbreaking. The way someone's life has to end is also extremely terrifying. Current tragic incidents have made me realise that from this point onward, my perspective on my safety havens will change forever. The places in which I normally seek refuge, are not perceived as being hundred percent safe anymore. It is scary and the uncontrollable fear makes me feel very helpless. The thought of this happening to me or my family also makes me feel very insecure. The constant thoughts of how to protect my family from such accidents race constantly through my head but in reality, there is nothing much anyone can do in such unfortunate situations. The unthinkable may happen to us, to our entire family and our lives from that day onwards will never be the same. We wake up one random morning to the usual routine, maybe after a peaceful and fun weekend and suddenly the unthinkable may happen. Who would have imagined that people's lives would end this way? Families will instantly lose not only their entire belongings, but also the person they love, the person who means the world to them. Such tragic losses are extremely traumatic for these families. They will carry this pain with them throughout their entire life. The pain will most probably become more manageable as time passes by but the scar will always be there. They will never forget this horrible experience.

Loss is never easy to handle. Even when people are expecting a loved one to pass away, their loss is still a very difficult experience to go through. It is extremely hard to let go, to say goodbye and to accept the fact that one needs to live their entire life without the presence of their loved one. Sudden loss is even more cruel because people do not get the chance to say goodbye, there is no time for closure, for saying I love you or I am sorry one last time. A life is suddenly taken away and the family is left thunderstruck, unable to understand what has just happened. They fail to understand how life was very normal suddenly their life was no more. It will take years to get over something like this, to accept the fact that the person you loved and adored and who was healthy and happy, is no more. There are no words in such moments. How can one console such families? What do you tell them? The only thing that one can do is simply help them come to terms with this reality. People react to loss in different ways and at a different pace.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined 5 stages of grief that people go through when experiencing the loss of a loved one. Not everyone goes through these 5 stages in the same way and some people do not even go through all of them. The five stages mentioned above are the denial and isolation stage, the anger stage, the bargaining stage, the depressive stage and the acceptance stage. People can go through all stages at different times in their grieving process because people grief differently. What I can say about this process is that ultimately a sense of hope is developed throughout this journey. One eventually starts to realise that where there is life, there is hope and vice versa. One also trusts the fact that wherever our loved one is right now, he or she is in a better place. They are not suffering and they are watching over us. We will always miss them. Of course we do. There will always be moments where we yearn to hear their voice, to hug them or to confide in them. Ultimately we learn how to carry them in our hearts until it's time for us to be with them once again. Death is scary for many people. The thought of dying renders us very helpless and grieving the death of a loved one requires us to have a lot of support from the people around us. Do not be scared to reach out and seek comfort and help. It is the least you can do in such a difficult time. Therapy restores hope and helps us find the silver lining in a very dark cloud.