Stranded! When Loneliness is Our Sole Companion

Don't be scared to touch another human with your heart.

In my line of work I come in touch with loneliness on a daily basis. I meet several people who are engulfed by this feeling and who are rendered helpless and isolated. Unfortunately, loneliness is a very common feeling experienced by different people across the board. This state of mind makes people feel empty and isolated and they find it very hard to form relationships with others because they feel too different or because they simply cannot connect. Lonely people might lack self-confidence and they might believe that they simply do not deserve attention. They find themselves staring at life passing by while they lie still, quiet, not moving a muscle just because they feel unseen, abandoned and unloved. There are people who have literally no family to turn to whilst there are others who do so but have stopped and lost all contact with them.

Living a lonely life is painful. My heart goes out to you. Loneliness may be a hindrance for mental health if it lasts for a long period of time. People going through loneliness experience fatigue and they may lose their appetite. They may experience an enhanced feeling of anxiety and are prone to getting sick more often. They may also experience headaches and migraines and may find themselves becoming attached to non-material things. Because they experience a sense of worthlessness, they automatically turn down socialization opportunities, thus further isolating themselves.

There are three different types of loneliness, mainly Situational, Developmental and Internal loneliness. Situational loneliness can be very temporary since it is present until the individual gets used to the new surroundings or situations and slowly starts to create a routine and meet different people which may fall part of that routine. Developmental loneliness is defined as experiencing the feeling of being left behind. Lonely individuals might view other people as moving forward in life while they feel stuck in a rut. By means of a strong will power the individual is able to dislodge from stuckness and follow a self-fulfilling path thus not feeling lonely anymore. Internal loneliness is when someone feels empty and alone even in a crowd. This is the type of loneliness that leads to isolation since the individual does not feel fulfilled and understood when in the company of others.

Even though the feeling of helplessness might be debilitating, it is very important to try and reach out to others in order to pull yourself out from loneliness. One can reach out to family and friends. I am sure that there is someone out there who is ready to lend you an ear or a shoulder to cry on. If this does not feel too comfortable as yet, you can always reach out to therapy. A therapist will help you work through this feeling, understand why you are feeling lonely and helps you find ways of how you can make your life better. It is also very important to try and take yourself out of the house. Run some errands, go for a coffee, read a book near the sea or go to the gym. These are situations where you can meet people and make friends. Volunteering is also helpful because there you can meet people who have the same passions and interests. You can also try and meet new people through different groups of your choice. Writing also helps you externalize your feelings and this may help you feel more relieved of the heavy load you have been carrying with you for a while. And finally, if you have the time and space for it, you may also decide to get a pet. Pets are great companions and alleviate the feelings of loneliness in a warm and loving way.

Loneliness may be an occasional part of our journey of life but don’t let it spoil this journey. If you are feeling lonely try and push up some courage and reach out. Someone will respond. Remember you are not worthless. You are worth loving and listening to. You are worth being part of that life that you are seeing happening outside the window of your lonely heart.