Reach Out! It's Not the End of the World!

Last month we celebrated World Mental Health Day where everyone was promoting the importance of reaching out and eliminating stigma. It’s beautiful that this day is being recognized here in Malta but if we have to be honest, do people feel free to be open about going to therapy? I have a few reservations about how comfortable people feel to seek help from a mental health professional. Working in a clinic as a counsellor I meet all sorts of clients. I meet those who are open about the fact that they are coming to therapy and who do not give a hoot about what their neighbour will say about them if they find out. But, unfortunately, there are others who are too scared and ashamed that they chose to resort to therapy to try and get back on track.

The shame and fear are real. They are scared that someone will see them come in or leave the building. They make sure that the confidentiality protocol is followed to the T (which it is regardless of the fear and shame) and they keep asking over and over whether I think they are insane for calling me for an appointment. I really feel for them because they are not only pressured by the fact that things in their lives are running wild, but society puts this extra pressure on them that makes them doubt their sanity and integrity. Some don’t even tell their families or spouses or parents that they are coming. They are so scared that they are going to be judged or that someone they love is going to think less of them. So they decide to come in secret because they rather live under false pretence than come out clean that they are going through a rough patch in their life and they simply need support.

Constant reassurance is the key to this sense of fear and shame. That is where my work with them starts. People need to understand that going to therapy and seeking mental health support is as ok as going to a doctor for some kind of prescription. No one is ashamed to stay in line at the doctor’s clinic. So why is it almost sinful for some to be seen ringing my doorbell? This stigma is real. It makes people feel that there is something wrong with them, that they are worthless and that they are not good enough. In reality, these people are strong and possess the willpower to make the hardest step of all. They realize that things are not right and that they need to seek help immediately before things go from bad to worse. I applaud these people and I admire them. I learn a lot through my clients and whilst I witness their struggles each with their own demons, I also witness their transition from a scared, confused and frightened client to someone with a sense of direction and purpose, leading their own lives in whatever direction they feel like going. Unfortunately not all stories end successfully. Some do not find the support and empathy they need outside the clinic’s four walls. They remain stuck, afraid and feeling ashamed. I struggle with those because I feel that if society is more empathic and accepting, these people will find the will to improve their situation.

I believe that as a nation we need to come together and acknowledge the fact that struggles with mental health issues are real. Almost everyone goes through a rough patch every now and then and we all need a shoulder to lean on. Instead of judging each other why don’t we support each other through these dark moments? There are people who are suffering and crying in silence just because they feel alone and unloved. Let’s help them reach out for help by spreading the warmth towards all those people who haven’t yet decided to breath, grab the phone and dial that number.